Why must we always use the past to allow us to think of ourselves as “damaged”? You are never damaged, only ill. Things that are ill can be cured.
Only we can cure ourselves. You must remove those harmful influences from the past that still infect your present reality. They are not part of who you now are. They exist only in your own mind.
Hugh Prather said “You are controlled by your grievances from the past, not by the past itself”. We must learn to excise those grievances and other harmful “demons” of our past. I don’t mean demons in the physical or religious sense. I mean demons of our own creation, those memories and attached feelings that we let darken our days and affect our dreams. There have been many lessons to be learned in our lifetimes. Many of those lessons were painful. We must take what we can learn from those lessons, but we don’t need to close ourselves in with the memories of the pain. That pain will insure that you remain ill.
What are we waiting for? Have we not hurt enough already? Sometimes, I believe, we can unconsciously get too comfortable in our pain. It may feel like it is all that we have. When we walk into a room, we scan the room with our eyes. We look at a million things, but only “see” what we focus on.. If we focus only on the pain, we ignore all other possibilities.